Tonight I finally did something for myself, something I haven't done in a long time. I played poker with friends. It was a good night. I hadn't been that happy in a long time. It felt so good to laugh again.
I started out very strong. I won a couple of good hands back-to-back. Then there was a little bit of a lull. I then came back again strong, on an all-in. I lasted in the tournament a total of two hours. That equates to a really good night.
It actually feels good to be able to step outside of my box. It's not easy when you are an introvert. I have never really been a sociable person. When I find myself in a crowded room, I tend to find myself a nice, quiet little spot that I can hide in. When I do meet people I'm very quiet until I get to know them. That doesn't happen often.
I guess that's why I write. It's a safe outlet for me. Yes, putting out a public blog is just that, public. But, it's not like trying to talk to someone face-to-face. I can pour my soul out on the screen a lot easier than I can in person. There are no judgemental looks to deal with. I can handle reading words easier than I can handle a look. I don't know why that is. Anyhow, that's why going out tonight was so important. It was a way for me to break free from some of my insecurities. I guess I'm finally starting to feel human.
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