August 13, 2013 (What's in a Number)

What's in a number? When you're talking about age, a lot! When I made the decision to start dating I had one big decision to make. How old is too old and how young is too young? My range is not as wide as you might think when you place my age in the middle. But I will say that the best guide is if the man's age is closer to my daughter than to myself, he is DEFINITELY too young! If the man's age is closer to my mother than to myself, he is DEFINITELY too old! I have already been told by a few guys who fall in the category of closer to my daughter's age that age is just a number. I shouldn't judge their level of maturity by how old they are.

In that they are correct. I know that I was older than my years when I was young. But, the boys who were my age were just that, boys. And considering that boys age slower than girls made dating boys my own age that much harder. I wanted someone who could at least talk to me on my level. If you were still high-fiving and fist-bumping your body who just farted, calling it "a good one", you were definitely not mature enough to date me.

Then there was my ex-husband. He was nearly four years older than me and seemed to be mature at the time. He was going through the police academy and working as an auxiliary officer with the airport police. Little did I know there was a perpetual teenage time bomb just waiting to explode trapped inside that 24-year-old man. Needless to say, that experience has tainted my definition of what mature is. In my book, until a man reaches the age of 35 he is still not at his peak level of maturity or, in some cases, has yet to show his true colors.

So, what is a good number? Honestly, I don't know. All I can say is that it's a case-by-case decision. I have my list of little traits I look for to know whether a man meets my standards or not. If I don't recognize the traits that make a man a man, I will dig a hole, throw that notion down in it, and fill that hole right up. I don't want that notion to ever be entertained again. If I do recognize those traits then we'll cross that age gap when we get to it. In the meantime, I'm just happy to meet new people and get out of the house a little bit. I'll know when that right man comes along that I am willing to extend an invitation to my life. I will know because God will be the one to place him there.