I have discovered a disturbing truth about my children. They are wishy-washy! I remember a conversation I had with my daughter when she was eight years old. She came into my room to "have a talk" with me. My daughter, in her best adult impersonation, tells me I should get a divorce from her daddy. When I asked her why she very matter-of-factly said, "he's a mean man!" She proceeded to tell me that I needed to find another man to be their daddy. At this time I had no idea that my daughter would eventually drop the bomb on me that her daddy had been seeing another woman. You read that right. I said MY DAUGHTER was going to tell me about the other woman. Upon further prodding she also said that it was weird that she was the only child in her school whose parents were still married. Now, I don't know which of these arguments was the driving force behind her request, but that old phrase "out of the mouth of babes" rang very true on that day.
Skip forward to today. My daughter is still a very observant child. She has noticed that I have been texting and talking on the phone more than usual. And why not? She has friends she talks to all the time. But this is different. This is mommy (now mom) finally ready to do what she had suggested so many years ago. I guess she forgot that little conversation we had. When she found out I was talking to guys and possibly making plans to date, her response was less than favorable. I asked her why she felt that way. Apparently at the age she is now the idea of me dating is "just wrong". I am a mom, therefore I am not supposed to date. But, I have a little problem with her thought process. What about her dad? Not only had he cheated on me when she was quite young, he has been dating/seeing other women since the day he walked out of our lives, before we were ever divorced. I'm thinking my child is imposing a double standard on me. It's OK for him to see other women because he is just like that. But, I am the caretaker, mom. In her eyes I am just here to take care of her and her brothers. I'm not supposed to have a life.
I've got news for her. I do have a life and I plan on living it. I will at least make her this one promise. I will not invite a man to my home until I have had a number of "dates" with him and feel comfortable with the fact that he is not a psycho killer. I will not introduce him to my children until I know that there is definite chemistry there and he has expressed the desire to want to be a permanent part of my life. When they finally do meet this man I will allow them to voice their opinion of him to me, but I will not allow them to dictate whether or not I pursue a relationship. My children are my whole world and the man that I allow to enter that world will have to prove his desire to be a part of it. If he expresses any form of dislike for my children I will personally show him to the door. My daughter has to realize that I am a smart woman and very capable of making the right decisions when it comes to who I date. I have been around long enough and have read enough stories to prepare me for this next chapter of my life. Besides, God is in control, not me.
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