September 30, 2013 (Are We the Goose or the Gander?)

Everyone knows that old expression "what's good for the goose is good for the gander". Well, sometimes it reads, "what's good for the goose isn't always good for the gander." So, my question is, why is the government trying to force us to accept a medical plan that they have exempted themselves from? If it is so great and will mean healthcare for all, why don't they want to be a part of it?

Here's my biggest issue with it. If I knew someone who owned a restaurant and in talking to them they tell me they don't eat there themselves, I would question whether or not I should be eating there. It's like a parent telling their child to eat all their vegetables, but you look at the parent's plate and they don't even have any vegetables. How are you going to sit there and tell me that they are good for me, but you refuse to eat them? So, using this analogy, it doesn't make sense to me that they are trying to shove Obamacare down our throats. I don't want to be a part of something that they are afraid to be a part of, including the president himself.

I make this proposal. If the government and the president include themselves in Obamacare, not EXclude, then I will gladly jump on board with everyone else. I will put aside everything I think I know about him and his agenda and I will follow the masses, so to speak.

September 29, 2013 (Happy Birthday Pooh Bear)

Today my baby turned 10 years old, a whole decade! Problem is, this makes me old too. It's funny how you can be a certain age and not feel it.

Earlier I asked him how it feels to be a decade old. He said it didn't feel any different than any other age prior to ten. In my mind I still feel as if I'm in my early 20s. Regardless of my size and the shape of my body now, I still feel like the skinny, pretty girl I once was. I don't know about the saying that you get better with age, but I do know that I'm wiser and more aware. But, I don't feel any older, other than the occasional aches and pains that remind me my body is aging.

Back to my little man's birthday. I am having so much fun putting together his birthday party. Unfortunately I wasn't able to make it happen in time for his birthday, but it will be happening and it will be fun. Since his big gift this year was Disney Infinity, I had him pick one character set to focus the theme of his party on. He chose Toy Story. So, even though the party is going to be at a place called Fat Daddy's, we will be referring to it as Pizza Planet during his birthday party. This place is an arcade/pizza parlor, so it works perfectly into the movie. The takeaways are in popcorn boxes instead of goody bags and are filled with toys and characters from the Toy Story movies. I haven't decided on the cake yet, but it's going to be fun.

I really enjoy putting together birthday parties for my kids. The most fun was the Tim Burton Alice in Wonderland mad tea party I threw for my daughter's 18th birthday. All her friends dressed up as the different characters. One of her friends even dressed as the Red Queen, making her dress out of decks of cards and even drawing the heart in lipstick. We spent a couple days collecting different shapes, sizes, and colors of teacups and saucers, teapots (to include a pig), serving trays, tables and chairs. I had a number of varieties of different types of tea and made tea sandwiches and crudités for the table. Her birthday cakes (as each candelabra candle holder held 9 candles), were triple layered cakes, but I cut them in a way that they were lopsided. I frosted them with different colored frosting on each layer and sprinkled them with confetti. They were so much fun to make and the girls loved them. By the way, my daughter was Alice, which is perfect for her as she kind of resembles the Alice from the original Disney Alice in Wonderland. I'm really looking forward to her next birthday. Enter the Daleks!

September 27, 2013 (It's My Show and I'll Cry If I Want To!)

Why do we cry when something happens to characters in our favorite shows? If one gets sick, we cry. If one dies, we cry. If one gets married, has a baby, moves away, we cry. Could it be that in the progress of faithfully following a show we become emotionally attached to these characters? We don't grow attached to the actors/actresses playing them, but the character they are portraying. Actors/actresses have said that people have treated them cold because of a character they have portrayed. On the other hand, people have tried to console them when something tragic has happened, as if they were consoling the character themselves.

The shows that have impacted me the most are Army Wives and (gasp) The Secret Life of the American Teenager. I have felt the loss of certain characters on Army Wives and mourned right along with them. Since I was an Army wife, a lot of what goes on in this show impacts me on a personal level. As far as Secret Life, the greatest impact was when Adrian lost her baby. I cried for days over that one. I felt that loss as if it were my very own. At the point when they were told the baby was dead, I kept hoping for a miracle. I was hoping they were going to come back in and tell them that the baby just suddenly started breathing.

This is not something we talk about to our friends or family. It's something of an embarrassment to admit that we cry over fictional characters. But, guess what? We ALL do it. If you don't feel for these characters, most likely something is dead inside of you. I think I would be more worried if I didn't cry along with them, or laugh and feel great joy when something wonderful happens. Let's face it, they're family.

September 14, 2013 (TIMBER!!!)

Have you ever had those days that you felt like the universe was against you? That was how my day started. My sister-in-law called me this morning and wanted me to go with her to Pensacola. I was talking to my brother as she put my nieces in the car and waited for me. I left to go to the car, but I was in a hurry and didn't see the acorn nuts that had fallen to the ground. I slipped and threw myself forward onto the ground. The good thing is that I didn't twist anything. The bad thing is that I scraped both knees, had the cap of an acorn nut go through my left hand, and bruised my right hand.

I laid on the ground, face down, for a few minutes to catch my breath. When I rolled over I had blood running from the palm of my hand. I started feeling dizzy and extremely light-headed. While my sister-in-law went into the house to get what she needed to clean and bandage my wounds, I leaned up against the house to get my wits about me. When you're in shock it's hard to pull yourself out. Usually the only way I can shake it is to pass out. This time, somehow, I was able to avoid passing out. We cleaned my wounds and bandaged me up before heading to Pensacola. Since I didn't twist anything when I fell this time, I was fine other than a bruised hand.

After everything was done my sister-in-law told me something funny about my youngest niece. She was sitting behind her mother in the car when I fell. She saw me go down and said "uh-oh". When we went back into the house to give me a moment to rest she walked over to me, looked at my bandages, and again said "uh-oh". She is such a smart little tadpole.

September 9, 2013 (Pot Calls the Kettle Black...Kettle is Steamed)

The Players:
   Ex-husband = Pot
   Me = Kettle

The Setting:
   Cellphone Text

The Moral of the Story:
   Why he is and always will be my EX!

It all started on a dark, humid night full of fun times and good friends. The viewing party for Chef Brian Cartenuto began at 8:00pm on Sunday night. After the viewing my sister-in-law and I were invited to join him and his brother at McGuire's Irish Pub. We spent the last couple of hours of the night sitting around talking and laughing. It was 1:30am on Monday morning when we left for home. I first had to drop her off at her house, then pick up my daughter and head home myself. It was 2:45am by the time we reached the driveway.

At some point during the drive home I received a threatening text from my ex-husband stating, "Te you what I find out you said anything about Anthony and Kenny missing the bus . Ill have your ass just because their slush of a mother wants to use her daughter  so she can go out and friken party." Sorry for the bad typing, but that was a direct quote. First, I am the furthest thing from a "slush", as he puts it. I very rarely drink. Besides that, I have an extremely high tolerance for alcohol. I have never been drunk a day in my life. Second, I didn't "use" my daughter as she was being paid to babysit my nieces so I could finally have a night out with my sister-in-law. We were going to support a friend on one of the biggest nights of his life. Third, before I left home for the night I made sure everyone had been fed supper and gave my 15-year-old bedtime instructions. I figured he was old enough to handle things this one time. Both the boys were in bed at a decent hour, had plenty of rest, and got up and off to school without a fuss. I love my children very much. I wouldn't do anything without being sure they were taken care of. Last, I had my phone on me the entire time. There was not a single time that night they weren't able to reach me.

Now that the kettle has blown off some steam, let me fill you in on the pot. One particular time that comes to mind was when my boys went to stay with their dad to spend some time with him. He lives with his mom, as most of you already know, and she isn't the best person to be around. That's a story for another time. He received a phone call from a friend and told my boys he would be back soon, that he had to go help a friend with a flat tire. Not only was he gone for over four hours, he was very much unreachable. My oldest son called me because he didn't know what to do. He said his dad had left to help someone and that he hadn't heard from him and could not get ahold of him for many hours. When he finally showed back up at the house he had been drinking. Now, knowing my ex-husband as I do, I can tell you exactly what happened that night.

The reason he even took the boys was because his friend most likely told him that something came up and they wouldn't be able to hang out. So, he decided he wanted to see the boys since he had nothing else to do. Once they were there he received a phone call from his friend that plans changed. He went out with them, drank and partied for about four hours, then returned home, most likely drunk. Now, there are many differences between these two scenarios. First, I made sure my boys knew where I was going and how late I would be out. Second, they could reach me. Third, I only had two drinks the entire night and drank three times that amount in water. Last, I didn't come home drunk or showing any signs that I had even had a drink. So, who's a bad parent now?

September 8, 2013 (Cutthroat Kitchen with Chef Brian)

Tonight was the most fun I have had since....forever! Tonight was the viewing party for Brian Cartenuto's appearance on "Cutthroat Kitchen". It was so amazing to see his family stand by him. Gail, Joe, and Chris were there to make this night very special for Brian. When I watch this family together I see what a true family looks like, acts like. I watched as Gail endured the heat, almost to the point of passing out, so she could be there to support her son. A mother's love can overcome any obstacle. I try to show this same kind of love to my children. I hope that one day they will recognize it as just that, LOVE!

As the night progressed and the show began, so did the fun. Round one began. The challenge was ravioli. Since Brian is Italian, this wasn't much of a challenge, not even when he was given jerky to use as a filler. After he made it through to the next round we were all served ravioli, not exactly the one he made on the show, but very close. Jerky as a filler for ravioli is actually quite amazing. Round two - hamburgers. Again, how is this a challenge for a man who has created the most amazing burgers ever? After all, he does own Tucker Duke's Lunchbox. What we were served after his challenge was no less amazing. On to round three. The final challenge was fried chicken. Again, seriously? He was raised in the south. I want more of that chicken! We are all so very proud of Brian for winning!

As for me, I was a winner too. I was given the chance at an awesome evening with good friends. I finally had the chance to hang out with my sister-in-law. She helped me to loosen up and come out of my shell, even if only for a little while. I discovered that I could have fun, that it's okay to loosen up every now and then. So, thank you to all who made this night wonderful, for including me in something very special.

September 6, 2013 (Why I Should Have Been A Teacher)

Have you ever wondered what your life would be like if you had followed your heart? I have had many interests in my life, from accountant to writer. But there is one passion that has stayed with me throughout the years. I have always had a passion for teaching. This passion goes as far back as the first grade. I was always advanced beyond my years, therefore I was bored a lot in school. Don't get me wrong. I loved school, I was just bored. They were teaching things I already knew how to do. In order to prevent me from holding the other children back my teacher had a brilliant idea. She decided to have me tutor the other students who weren't quite getting it. From that time on I tutored, from Kindergarten age up to whatever grade I happened to be in that year. The greatest pleasure I have ever received was seeing the light bulb come on. There's a kind of satisfaction in knowing that you were able to help someone crack the code. You see, everyone's brain is wired differently. In order to help someone learn you have to have two very important elements. The first is they have to want to learn. The second is the clue to unlocking the part of their brain that allows them to learn. Once you have both of these things, anyone can learn.

I never quit teaching, in one way or another. I never became a teacher because I allowed other things in my life to stand in the way, much like I have done everything I have ever wanted to do. Even I had something to learn...freedom, of my mind and of the bonds that have held me back all my years. I had always allowed everyone else to influence my life, my goals, and my happiness. I never pursued my own passions. Since I never became a teacher, I became a tutor. I love what I do, even if it is only part-time. I get to spend time with adults and children, helping them to learn the things in life that they may not have learned otherwise. I found that I have a knack for unlocking the parts of the brain that help them to understand what I am trying to teach them. I don't necessarily know that what I do can be taught. It's something I was born with and the schools I attended took advantage of. Every school I attended that learned I had tutored at my last school found a way to use me. Since there were subjects that I had a very firm grasp on, those were the times I got to go to the other classrooms and tutor. If I wasn't tutoring during those times I was grading papers. They were always looking for a way to keep me busy, since I did get bored quite easily. I don't know exactly how many children I have helped throughout the years. I don't know any names or where any of these people are today. All I can hope is that at some point in history I was able to make enough of an impact on their lives that they were able to become a success. I really do wish I knew what had happened to the ones I had helped along the way.

September 5, 2013 (Go Home GPS...You're Drunk!)

Tonight was a very special night. My friend Tina took me and her sister, Ronda, to see Kevin James at the Saenger Theater. As always, when you get the three of us together for any length of time there is going to be extreme laughter. The car ride over was quick and easy. Since it was still light out, you could see more than just a black blur of trees. Since we were leaving immediately after Ronda and I got off work, we had to run through a drive-thru for dinner. I figured chicken nuggets (although not the healthiest choice) would be the right choice for me since I was driving. WRONG! All it took was one wrong move to dump the sauce off the tip of the box and onto the floor board. Fortunately, the sauce never turned over and I managed NOT to make a mess.

Upon arriving at the theater I had already resolved to pay to park. I do believe $5 for parking is much better than $50 to rescue your car from the tow truck! I was lucky. The space directly behind the theater was almost completely empty - the benefit to arriving almost an hour early. Once we were inside one of the hosts came over to talk to Tina. We were ushered to the door to stand at the front of the line. I'm sure you can imagine the looks we were getting from the other people standing around waiting. To add to the chitter-chatter, once the doors opened we were escorted in and to our seats before anyone else was allowed in. I must mention that Tina uses a walker due to MS. We arrived at our seats in the handicap section of the theater. The doors were then opened and everyone else was allowed to enter. Again, there were looks and chatter as people noticed us sitting in plush, moveable chairs in a section all to ourselves. There were just three of us sitting in a section made to accommodate at least eight people. But, since we were the first ones in we got to witness everyone else walk in. Once again, laughter ensued. It's fun to sit back and witness how people dress, walk, and act.

Now onto the show. The first up was a good friend of Kevin James'...Richie Minervini. He was hilarious! I always love to hear comedians talk about their families. It lets the rest of us know that we are not alone, especially when it comes to raising teenagers. I think the funniest part of his act was talking about his kids and technology, since I have the same issues with my kids. By the time Kevin James came on stage everyone was already sore from laughter. He gave an awesome performance. We laughed so hard my sides hurt. Since Tina has MS and uses a walker, the best part of the show for us was when he started talking about people with walkers. We laughed so hard as everything he said was so true. Since Tina's walker has wheels, we decided that instead of the typical tennis balls, we needed to get her a few soccer balls for her walker. Stylish, no?

The laughter didn't stop there. Since historic Pensacola is difficult enough to maneuver during the day, we decided to use the GPS to get back to interstate. This poor gal was so confused. I knew which way I wanted to turn, but decided to follow her moves instead, which took us in the opposite direction. After a couple of turns, we were facing the exact direction I wanted to head in the first place. When we finally made it to interstate Tina decided to turn the GPS off. We all felt as if we were in a Jarrod's commercial when the crazy thing not only kept telling us where to go, but refused to turn off. Ten minutes later there was finally silence. I guess we made her mad enough to shut her up! Personally, I think she had too much to drink.

September 4, 2013 (Why I Hate Teacher Conferences)

Today I had to meet with my youngest son's teacher. The school counselor and his reading teacher were invited to join in. The counselor couldn't make it, but the reading teacher did. The meeting started out just fine as we talked about what was going on with him in school, behavior-wise. This was nothing new to me as I have been through this with him every year since he started school. It has just progressed over the years.

Some of the issues we have with him are organization, patience, and tempers. He has been informally diagnosed with Tourette Syndrome. In his case, if you ask him a question or give him a series of tasks he will yell out. It's an automatic response with him. He is also constantly having to either talk or make some sort of noise. He is disruptive in class because of his constant need to make noises. Sometimes you can remind him that he's making noise unnecessarily and he will stop. Other times, saying anything to him just makes him angry and the temper comes out. As far as patience, he doesn't like to wait for anything or anyone. When he wants to do something or wants something, he wants it immediately. If you make him wait he gets angry and throws a temper. If he is not organized or things are a mess he gets angry and starts throwing things, again with the temper.

There are things that I have noticed will help with this. First, he has had one obsession since birth. He likes anything that is sticky. When he was just a couple weeks old, I laid him in his bassinet. I went in later to check on him and the mattress tag was sticking to his face. The tag was sticky because that is where they chose to place the barcode sticker. I was careful to place the tag under the mattress and tucked into the fitted sheet. To this day I have no idea how he was able to get that tag out and stick it to his face at just a couple weeks old. He still likes to carry stickers of any kind and he holds them to his face. It seems to sooth him. The other thing I have found is to hold his shoulders gently, getting face-to-face with him before speaking. In order for him to hear what you are saying you must first get his full attention. He does lash around a bit until he no longer feels threatened. It just takes a couple minutes of reassuring him that he is not in trouble, you just need his full attention.

I say all that to get to the point of this blog, why I hate teacher conferences. As I said, his regular teacher is very understanding and has expressed a great interest in doing whatever it takes to get through to him. Unfortunately, his reading teacher was more interested in telling me what I was doing wrong and needed to change in order to help him to be successful. When I was explaining my personal situation and how difficult it is for me to juggle all my responsibilities, she continued to tell me how she, too, was a single mother of two and if she could make it work so could I. There are so many flaws in her reasoning. The first being that she is in good health and I am still struggling with fibromyalgia and arthritis, which, after a long day of work, finds me without any energy to do much of anything else. I still visit the Cancer Center every 8 weeks to get a port flush. I also doubt that she has had to deal with the health and disability issues that I am faced with every day. While I appreciate that she wants to help my child, not everyone fits the same mold. Just because she found something that worked for her doesn't mean it will work for me and my family. If more people would understand this one tiny fact, the world would be a much more peaceful place.

August 30, 2013 (Niceville High School 50th Anniversary)

Tonight was the celebration of 50 years of Niceville High School. It has been 25 years since I had this much fun at a football game. The walk down memory lane brought laughter and tears. I am so proud to call myself an alumnus of Niceville High School.

The evening started with a walk down memory lane in what is now the cafeteria. Yearbooks were on display for the last 50 years. The first books I went in search for were 1988 and 1989. Since I don't actually own the yearbook for 1988 it was nice to be able to thumb through that year. A very dear friend of mine passed away just days before she was to graduate. It brought tears to my eyes when I came across her picture. I miss her so very much. We called her SLY (Stephanie Lyn York). A few years after she passed away I named my baby girl after her. I also found another very dear friend of mine who passed away in a car accident a number of years ago. I became so nostalgic for the 80s during that short walk. I then proceeded to the 90s where I found my baby brother's photos for his 9th and 10th grade years. I can't believe how little he has changed. Last, I headed to the new millennial table where my daughter's graduating year was located. It seems weird that I have a daughter who is also amongst the alumni at NHS.

After my walk down memory lane I proceeded out to the stadium where I was able to buy the 50 year celebration T-shirt. My daughter also has this same shirt. I quickly changed and returned to the stadium to get ready for the parade of classes. We were arranged by decades. Of course, I followed behind the sign for the 80s. My graduating class was the last of that decade. It was fun to walk the length of the stadium, regardless of our advanced years. Even us old people were able to walk the entire length of the field. Getting to spend this time with a couple of good friends made this night especially grand. I didn't get to spend any of this time with my daughter as she was in Color Guard, so she was hanging out with the band alumni all night. My son is not yet alumni, so he got to spend the evening with his little brother, who is still in elementary school.

Since this was a high school football game as well, I must report that we won the game, 62 to 21. Those boys played a very good game that night. I would like to see this team take State Champs again, since the only time this was ever accomplished was the 25th anniversary of the school by my graduating class. We were such over achievers.