Let's see how long I can keep this up...
I failed to maintain this blog last year and allowed myself to get so busy that I just couldn't find the time. I resolve to (try) make a post at least weekly, everyday if possible. There are so many changes I want to make this coming year. As this is "The Journey of Me", I will be letting you in on my successes and (God willing not many) failures. So, in the beginning....there was a resolution list!
1. I resolve to lose this weight...somehow, someway
2. I resolve to save more money...for this I will be using the 52 Week Challenge
3. I resolve to pay off my debts...thank God it's not many
4. I resolve to create a budget...and stick with it
5. I resolve to organize every aspect of my life...it CAN be done
6. I resolve to CELEBRATE, CELEBRATE, CELEBRATE...as many holidays this year as possible
7. I resolve to write a book...to completion (my biggest challenge I believe)
Now that I have created the list and all of you will be reading it, I ask you all to resolve to hold me accountable to this list. As I don't want to set myself up for failure, I will feel successful if I can at least complete one of these resolutions.
As "The Little Engine that Could" would say, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!"
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Sunday, November 24, 2013
November 14, 2013 (Life, the Great Defibrillator)
I had kind of a scare Monday night. Something happened that forced me to wake up and take notice of my body. I went to the ER because I was struggling with breathing and had a pressure in the back of my left leg. I thought I had a blood clot again, this time in my leg. I was immediately taken back and tests were quickly ordered. As always, it started with blood work. I also had an ultrasound of my left leg, an x-ray of my chest, and was placed on a heart monitor. Needless to say, I was admitted overnight for evaluation. The next morning I was sent for a CT scan to be sure there was not a blood clot in my lungs.
Upon discharge, I was given prescriptions for cholesterol and high blood pressure. The discharging diagnosis was a heart attack. Now, I don't know if that is what actually happened, but it was enough to wake me up! I know that I don't want another scare like that ever again. The only thing I could think of was my children. What would happen to them if something happened to me? I am the one they can rely on to take care of their needs. I am the one who nurses them back to health when they are sick. I am the one who teaches them what it means to be a responsible, caring, giving human being. How could I beat cancer, but let something like this kick me off my feet?
If anything was going to bring me back to life, this was definitely it! Major lifestyle changes are definitely in my future. I still have so much to accomplish in this lifetime. I have a laundry list of things that I have yet to do. There's no time like the present, right?
November 24, 2013 (To Plank or Not to Plank!)
I have decided to try something new. I am going to take the 30-day planking challenge with some friends. According to the challenge, after the 30 days, this is supposed to strengthen my core and help me to tighten up and lose weight. At the end of this challenge there is another I am going to work my way up to. It is a series of exercises that you do every day. When this one is done I am going to take each of those exercises and work them into my daily routine, one month at a time.
I know I'm going to need the support of my friends to help me make it through these challenges. I need your prayers and your encouragement. I am going to push through my medical issues and force myself to push myself. The way I see it, I can only go up from here. At least these exercises are normal exercises and nothing like some of the crazy, push-yourself-to-near-death exercises that I've been seeing. Maybe one day in the far distant future I might feel the urge to try one of them, but for now I'm good with integrating a different exercise into my routine each month. I know it seems silly to only do one exercise a day for a month, but maybe once I get to the second month I will find myself just adding an exercise, doing two, then three, then eventually the entire challenge every day.
Along with integrating the exercises into my daily routine, I am going to try really hard to eat right and eat more often. I know I need to also boost my metabolism with diet as well as exercise. I have found a site that gives me recipes for smoothies that I am looking forward to trying. I will try my best to do better at updating my blog for those who are really interested in following my progress. I guess now is the time to also put my stats out there. I will get my weight in the morning (on my scale since that is the one I use the most) and I will see about getting my measurements. Just as an experiment I want to also measure my height. I know over the years I have lost about an inch from my height and I'm curious if I will gain that inch back as I put my body back together.
So, here we go!
I know I'm going to need the support of my friends to help me make it through these challenges. I need your prayers and your encouragement. I am going to push through my medical issues and force myself to push myself. The way I see it, I can only go up from here. At least these exercises are normal exercises and nothing like some of the crazy, push-yourself-to-near-death exercises that I've been seeing. Maybe one day in the far distant future I might feel the urge to try one of them, but for now I'm good with integrating a different exercise into my routine each month. I know it seems silly to only do one exercise a day for a month, but maybe once I get to the second month I will find myself just adding an exercise, doing two, then three, then eventually the entire challenge every day.
Along with integrating the exercises into my daily routine, I am going to try really hard to eat right and eat more often. I know I need to also boost my metabolism with diet as well as exercise. I have found a site that gives me recipes for smoothies that I am looking forward to trying. I will try my best to do better at updating my blog for those who are really interested in following my progress. I guess now is the time to also put my stats out there. I will get my weight in the morning (on my scale since that is the one I use the most) and I will see about getting my measurements. Just as an experiment I want to also measure my height. I know over the years I have lost about an inch from my height and I'm curious if I will gain that inch back as I put my body back together.
So, here we go!
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
November 6, 2013 (How Do I Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways)
The hardest thing for me to do is find ways to love myself. On this, the eve of my birth, I am going to list the things that I DO like about myself. Part of the reason this is so difficult is because I'm not the kind of person who feels comfortable with talking myself up. But, since this is a journey, part of that journey is to change the way I see myself. This means I must talk myself up. So, here it goes...
1. The thing I like the most about myself is my compassion for others. No matter who you are, if I know you are hurting or going through a hard time I want to be there to hold your hand and help you get through whatever it is. I don't like to see people hurt, no matter who you are or how much you may have hurt me. I can rise above those hurts and still offer you my compassion.
2. I really like my hair. It's fluffy and soft and long.
3. I think I have a fairly good sense of fashion. I love shoes! Ideally, if I find a pair of shoes I like I can build an outfit from there. It's much harder to find an outfit and try to find shoes to match. I prefer the other way around.
4. I have pretty eyes. They are not a typical color and they can change depending on my mood. I think I have warm, inviting eyes. When you look into my eyes they don't say, "GO AWAY", but simply, "I'm worth getting to know."
5. I'm smart. If I don't know the answer, I know how to find the answer.
6. I'm talented. There's not too much that I've tried that I haven't been able to do well. I think that's because I'm a perfectionist and don't like to fail.
7. I have a very strong relationship with God. Even though I fail Him daily, He never fails me. I know that I am His child and that He loves me just as much as, if not more than, I love Him.
8. I'm a good friend, unless you do something to harm me or my family. I have had people I called friend do or say things that were very hurtful. But, when they needed someone to stand by their side I have never turned my back on them.
These are the things that I choose to see when I look at myself in the mirror. As long as I focus on these things, it's a little easier to stand in front of the mirror and see the image staring back at me. If I focus on these things I can see a beautiful woman looking back at me. For those of you reading this blog, please feel free to leave your feedback. I would love to know how you see me; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
1. The thing I like the most about myself is my compassion for others. No matter who you are, if I know you are hurting or going through a hard time I want to be there to hold your hand and help you get through whatever it is. I don't like to see people hurt, no matter who you are or how much you may have hurt me. I can rise above those hurts and still offer you my compassion.
2. I really like my hair. It's fluffy and soft and long.
3. I think I have a fairly good sense of fashion. I love shoes! Ideally, if I find a pair of shoes I like I can build an outfit from there. It's much harder to find an outfit and try to find shoes to match. I prefer the other way around.
4. I have pretty eyes. They are not a typical color and they can change depending on my mood. I think I have warm, inviting eyes. When you look into my eyes they don't say, "GO AWAY", but simply, "I'm worth getting to know."
5. I'm smart. If I don't know the answer, I know how to find the answer.
6. I'm talented. There's not too much that I've tried that I haven't been able to do well. I think that's because I'm a perfectionist and don't like to fail.
7. I have a very strong relationship with God. Even though I fail Him daily, He never fails me. I know that I am His child and that He loves me just as much as, if not more than, I love Him.
8. I'm a good friend, unless you do something to harm me or my family. I have had people I called friend do or say things that were very hurtful. But, when they needed someone to stand by their side I have never turned my back on them.
These are the things that I choose to see when I look at myself in the mirror. As long as I focus on these things, it's a little easier to stand in front of the mirror and see the image staring back at me. If I focus on these things I can see a beautiful woman looking back at me. For those of you reading this blog, please feel free to leave your feedback. I would love to know how you see me; the good, the bad, and the ugly.
Thursday, October 24, 2013
October 24, 2013 (Mirror, Mirror)
When I look in the mirror I see a science project gone wrong. I look at myself and wonder how anyone is ever going to fall in love with me. I know this is a self-pity party, but if you saw what I see every day I think you would understand. This body of mine has been through a lot in its....cough, cough...40-ish years. I have been through a few surgeries that have left me somewhat disfigured. It's not that obvious to everyone else because I've learned the fine art of camouflage. I know how to dress this body to make it look somewhat presentable. But, once you peel back the layers of this onion you will definitely tear up.
Why do I have this misconception? Could it be because all the guys I know are with thin, beautiful women? Could it be because all the males I know are always hanging out with thin, beautiful women? Nah...well, maybe a little. My biggest problem is that women don't tend to view a man's appearance the way men view a woman. We don't look at a man and see his size. We notice his eyes, his voice, his personality. Guys, from my own experience, notice a woman's butt, breasts, and, if he makes it that far, her eyes. Just listen to the songs on the radio. Florida Georgia Line comes to mind. And have you seen the music videos? The girls in these videos are thin, young, and beautiful. Just once I would like to see the girls that these guys sing about as plus-sized and curvaceous.
I know my feelings are just insecurities, but it's hard not to have insecurities when you've been carved up like a Frankenstein project. I need to spend more time focusing on the parts of me that I do think are nice. So, here goes....in my opinion, I have nice hair, pretty eyes, and I still have nice legs (at least the bottom half). I think I'm fairly stylish and dress well for my size. Just to let you know, writing these things about myself makes me feel very uncomfortable. But, it's better to face my insecurities than run from them. I better post this before I lose my confidence.
Why do I have this misconception? Could it be because all the guys I know are with thin, beautiful women? Could it be because all the males I know are always hanging out with thin, beautiful women? Nah...well, maybe a little. My biggest problem is that women don't tend to view a man's appearance the way men view a woman. We don't look at a man and see his size. We notice his eyes, his voice, his personality. Guys, from my own experience, notice a woman's butt, breasts, and, if he makes it that far, her eyes. Just listen to the songs on the radio. Florida Georgia Line comes to mind. And have you seen the music videos? The girls in these videos are thin, young, and beautiful. Just once I would like to see the girls that these guys sing about as plus-sized and curvaceous.
I know my feelings are just insecurities, but it's hard not to have insecurities when you've been carved up like a Frankenstein project. I need to spend more time focusing on the parts of me that I do think are nice. So, here goes....in my opinion, I have nice hair, pretty eyes, and I still have nice legs (at least the bottom half). I think I'm fairly stylish and dress well for my size. Just to let you know, writing these things about myself makes me feel very uncomfortable. But, it's better to face my insecurities than run from them. I better post this before I lose my confidence.
Tuesday, October 15, 2013
October 15, 2013 (Mamma Mia)
"Knowing Me, Knowing You", I say be a "Super Trouper" and "Take a Chance on Me." "Honey, Honey," I want to be your "Dancing Queen."
I have always loved ABBA. Growing up in the 70s and early 80s these songs played often. When my kids were little a group called A-Teens came on the scene (a.k.a. ABBA Teens). My daughter took a liking to that sound of music and became a huge ABBA fan as well. When we took the kids to Disney World in 2006 there was a group playing a show in Epcot Center called "Bjorn Again." It was so much fun getting to sing along with them.
Tonight, a good friend of mine treated me to the Broadway production of "Mamma Mia." It was so much fun. I love this show so much that I own it on DVD...times 2! You know, just in case one gets warn out. The Broadway show was almost identical to the movie, and vice versa. This show had an amazing cast. There was a lot of talent on that stage tonight. The music moved me so that I wanted to get up and dance and sing along with them. There were even a few ladies who "dressed up" for the show, go-go boots and all! I guess some people really get into the experience.
Speaking of dress-up, the costumes worn in this production were amazing. The costumes created for Donna and the Dynamos were very much ABBA. All-in-all, this show was definitely one to remember. It was one of those shows that when it was over, you wish it wasn't. These are the times you wish you could just hit a repeat button and continue the fun.
I have always loved ABBA. Growing up in the 70s and early 80s these songs played often. When my kids were little a group called A-Teens came on the scene (a.k.a. ABBA Teens). My daughter took a liking to that sound of music and became a huge ABBA fan as well. When we took the kids to Disney World in 2006 there was a group playing a show in Epcot Center called "Bjorn Again." It was so much fun getting to sing along with them.
Tonight, a good friend of mine treated me to the Broadway production of "Mamma Mia." It was so much fun. I love this show so much that I own it on DVD...times 2! You know, just in case one gets warn out. The Broadway show was almost identical to the movie, and vice versa. This show had an amazing cast. There was a lot of talent on that stage tonight. The music moved me so that I wanted to get up and dance and sing along with them. There were even a few ladies who "dressed up" for the show, go-go boots and all! I guess some people really get into the experience.
Speaking of dress-up, the costumes worn in this production were amazing. The costumes created for Donna and the Dynamos were very much ABBA. All-in-all, this show was definitely one to remember. It was one of those shows that when it was over, you wish it wasn't. These are the times you wish you could just hit a repeat button and continue the fun.
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
October 9, 2013 (Out of the Mouths of Babes)
While my sister-in-law was watching President Obama on the television give a speech, my 19-month-old niece stopped to listen. After standing there a few minutes listening to him talk she uttered "mo-mo" and walked away. For those of you who don't know what this means, it is slang for moron. Isn't it funny how young children have such discernment when it comes to character?
This incident reminded me of a time many years ago when Bill Clinton was in office. My daughter was just a baby when he was in office. One day I couldn't help but laugh. She was sitting on the floor playing with her toys as I was flipping through the channels trying to find something good to watch. I stopped just briefly on a channel that was showing President Clinton giving a speech. My daughter stopped playing and started crying. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I thought maybe she hurt herself on one of her toys. I quickly changed the channel before checking to see what had happened. As soon as I changed the channel she stopped crying. I sat back down and started flipping through the channels again. Again, I came across a channel that was showing him giving a speech. Again, she started crying. Again, I changed the channel. Again, she stopped crying. I called my husband at the time into the room and told him to watch our daughter. I flipped through the channels until I came across him speaking. Immediately she started crying. I flipped it to the next channel and she stopped. I flipped back and forth between the channels a couple of times. Every time Bill Clinton was talking she cried.
Over the years I have witnessed many children show disdain toward certain people, only to find out that these people really were not nice people. I have witnessed, and been one of those children, who scared adults, perfect strangers to the child, by running over to them. When I was about three my mother was going through the airport with me and my brother. He was little, so she had to carry him. I was at least old enough to walk. I was jealous that he was being carried and I had to walk. After all, I was still little too and my legs were tired. I sat down and refused to move. My mom was getting quite agitated with me. I was so mad at her that I ran over to this stranger who was sitting down and climbed into his lap. The poor man about had a heart attack. He must have been a decent person because I doubt at that age I would have felt comfortable enough to do that. Nowadays I just get strange looks if I go sit in some random guy's lap. I guess it's not as cute anymore.
This incident reminded me of a time many years ago when Bill Clinton was in office. My daughter was just a baby when he was in office. One day I couldn't help but laugh. She was sitting on the floor playing with her toys as I was flipping through the channels trying to find something good to watch. I stopped just briefly on a channel that was showing President Clinton giving a speech. My daughter stopped playing and started crying. I couldn't figure out what was wrong. I thought maybe she hurt herself on one of her toys. I quickly changed the channel before checking to see what had happened. As soon as I changed the channel she stopped crying. I sat back down and started flipping through the channels again. Again, I came across a channel that was showing him giving a speech. Again, she started crying. Again, I changed the channel. Again, she stopped crying. I called my husband at the time into the room and told him to watch our daughter. I flipped through the channels until I came across him speaking. Immediately she started crying. I flipped it to the next channel and she stopped. I flipped back and forth between the channels a couple of times. Every time Bill Clinton was talking she cried.
Over the years I have witnessed many children show disdain toward certain people, only to find out that these people really were not nice people. I have witnessed, and been one of those children, who scared adults, perfect strangers to the child, by running over to them. When I was about three my mother was going through the airport with me and my brother. He was little, so she had to carry him. I was at least old enough to walk. I was jealous that he was being carried and I had to walk. After all, I was still little too and my legs were tired. I sat down and refused to move. My mom was getting quite agitated with me. I was so mad at her that I ran over to this stranger who was sitting down and climbed into his lap. The poor man about had a heart attack. He must have been a decent person because I doubt at that age I would have felt comfortable enough to do that. Nowadays I just get strange looks if I go sit in some random guy's lap. I guess it's not as cute anymore.
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